Well folks, it’s been a while since I last posted, but it hasn’t been for a lack of thoughts or news. The truth is that so much is happening on a continual basis these days that it is hard to nail myself down to a seat long enough to even write a timely response to friends who are kind enough to e-mail me…to you, my sincerest apologies…So today is catch up day as this promises to be a very busy year with loads of change and lots to do to get there…

First, Alfredo and I are staging his house for the market – for real this time (after many false starts).  After many trips to Winners, HomeSense, Jysk, Ikea and many other stores in between, I think we have nailed down “the look” for his house. The real estate agent is practically hired (after a 2 and a half hour interview thanks to my endless questions and our quest to determine the “right fit”).  There is a bit of sadness for me in that I will miss going to Alfredo’s to see our Little Miss Bum Bum running around playing “disk doggie” in his backyard, but it is the right time and we want the family unit all under one roof.  

Now that the snow has completely melted, it signals the start of tending to our lawns and landscapes once again  and to nurture my new found passion in plant rearing and gardening… a surprising new obsession that came about strangely after receiving a beautiful plant arrangement in a red, velvet lined, wooden box from Alfredo’s Zia Lisa after my father passed away. And I am happy to report that all 8 plants still live…and are actually thriving quite nicely after I transplanted them all into their own individual pots (Can you tell that I am “nesting?”). One of them that I received – the African Violet – is known to be very finnicky and hard to keep, but mine is still alive and kicking!  Thank goodness for South facing windows!!! I also planted these mystery seeds about 4 weeks ago and I have been finally rewarded with a little sprout of something! YAY!!! So far, I have about 20 plants in my house and I watch them like they were my children.  :) Every day after work, I check every plant to see if something new came up. I think after a period of death, grief and loss, I turned to a new passion that involves growth and life. Now I am on the hunt for some perennial bulbs to plant in my front yard as I need to awaken it from its anonymity and mediocrity. I even got 2 books on plants and gardening at Coles…I will say that really means that I have become hooked.

Oh, and my other new passion is beadwork. Alfredo bought me a starter kit and I have been slowly building my collection of beads since December. I scout for sales at Michaels now, perusing the flyers and I plan on making some jewelry when I have some down time, possible next Fall…As the wedding season approaches once more, this will prove to be a very active one for the social calendar as Alfredo and I have 3 wedding engagements on our calendar and one engagement party – gotta love those huge Italian families…there is always a party to go to!  My boss also gave us theatre tickets to see a play at the Centrepointe theatre for next week. This is especially nice since I have been itching to go a production for a while.

As for a trip somewhere out of town is concerned, your guess is as good as mine as Alfredo and I will be making some changes chez moi this summer! If we can, we may toss in a romantic weekend getaway here and there, but there is too much to do before Fall to travel too far away.

Other than that, life has been very different since Dad has passed and I won’t even try to describe how I feel since it changes from day to day from anger to sadness to frustration to intense doubt to borderline acceptance – but that acceptance is not constant. I am still waiting for the “at peace” part which seems to elude me. I am so lucky in that everyone has been so incredibly supportive, and even now, I still have friends, colleagues, family ask how I feel about everything and how I am coping.  And I am totally functional on the outside and able to continue with life as usual, but my mind races all of the time on the inside. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I adore my life and everyone in it. In fact, I embrace and keep loved ones that much closer. It’s just that I question things all of the time…Could something more have been done for my Dad? Did the medical community do everything possible to minimize his suffering? Did he hear our words spoken to him shortly before he passed? Did he know he was dying before his diagnosis? Where is he now? You see, some very strange things have been happening since he passed, but I don’t place too much on these strange occurences as I must admit that my belief system and, in some aspects, my faith have been challenged. I would say that I seek more definitive proof that life continues after a physical death and the interest in paranormal investigation grows for Alfredo and I, but we are going to reserve that interest for the future when we have more time to dabble in it. For now, we are more focussed on the living and getting our family through the first year without Dad, which at times, is very hard emotionally. But I am so proud of Mom and how she is remaining very strong and very determined to keep going – because she has so much in her life and is surrounded by people who love her and will keep her going even through the loneliest of times.

Other than that, I will be seeing a Naturopathic doctor to seek help for some health related issues that I am hoping are due to stress. So if anyone has had any experiences that they wish to share, please let me know. I am going in with an open mind, but at the same time, I am going to be cautious and I plan to do my homework (no one is going to sell this chick any snake oil!)  :P . I will just say that this person came highly recommended by a very close friend and, as most of you know, I have pretty much very little faith in Western medicine and less so in practicing Western doctors. The first step is going for a massage treatment (courtesy of my wonderful man) and to follow up with Reflexology (as my first experience with that was very cool and informative). Next I try Reiki and gosh knows what else…Basically, my criteria is that it has to work and, for the most part, it has to feel good and productive. Thank God our govt. health plan covers for most of these services.

Anyway, I will let you know how everything works out.I hope that everyone is doing well. I think of you all often and although I do not comment as often these days, do not take that as the tempo for the future. I will have more time when things settle down. I have to say that I really enjoy reading your articles Andy and I encourage you to keep going. You are definitely being heard (even China knows about you now! ) and making your imprint on the world. Keep those drumming lessons up and you’ll soon have your one man show any day now!

Take care guys, be good to yourselves.

I love yas! 

Love Tina   

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 13th, 2008 at 6:29 pm and is filed under Friends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.